Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Dear agony

A very very short post for tonight but it rings really true in my head.

Dear agony,

Though art the lone wanderer of the labyrinthine mind,
the lone inflictor of angsty contemplation,

the sole liberator of the spirit,
the sole gash in the flesh,

the elixir of life,
and the spectre of destruction.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

The obsession that is Al Pacino

It all started when i was sixteen. A young impressionable age i must say. And my dear father introduced me to him. Poor soul ! How was he to know that his daughter will become one obsessed being? No. Correction. Obsessed and psychotic maniacal being who goes into throes of hysteria just by the mention of his name? That name, which is synonymous with the most infamous characters on-screen, both hated and revered. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Let me present to you the one and only Al-goddamn-pacino !

Whether it is Michael Corleone from Sicily or Tony Montana from Cuba, that man never fails to send my heart into a tizzy. I can literally feel it pine for the righteous Arthur Kirkland from "And justice for all" and Frank Serpico from "Serpico". Hell, i dont even mind Lefty from "Donnie Brasco" ! Ah! the sheer joy of watching him on-screen. You can almost feel the intensity on the screen radiating outwards towards you for which you need a shield to prevent it from seeping in. True, he has done some really sucky roles, but you can excuse a man from some mistakes. We ain't that harsh!

Anyhow, I was a happy and a normal teen till i was sixteen ( specifically till that day). And then came along Michael Corleone and calmly de-pithed me and made me a completely unhinged and crazy Homo sapiens sapiens  and on top of that, every look at the screen made me curse myself for being born in a very very later decade. Damn you destiny! You are a brutal entity! Either i shouldn't have known about the existence of this Alfredo James Pacino or i shouldn't have fallen for him like i did. Thanks to thou, there is an Al shaped hole in my heart! Now tell me, who the hell can fill it ?!

Sometimes i feel i shall die a spinster. In an old manor. With a cat named Alfredo. With my wedding gown on.  And the DVD player playing Godfather. And a box set of 'The complete works of you-know-who' next to it. Because noone according to me can hold a candle to him. ( see in my twisted head, he has become the yardstick for the guys i fall for) And well anyway i know, courtesy Mr Pacino (my regards to him) I have truly become "out of order"


Monday, 15 July 2013

ECHOES BY PINK FLOYD





"Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves in labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant tide
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and summery
And no one showed us to the land
And no one knows the where's or why's
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb towards the light

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can
And no one calls us to move on
And no one forces down our eyes
No one speaks
And no one tries
No one flies around the sun

Almost every day you fall upon my waking eyes
Inviting and inciting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Comes streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning
And no one sings me lullabies
And no one makes me close my eyes
So I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky"


I guess you can call them modern day bards, Pink Floyd. Yes. I never could figure out the hullaballoo around them till now. And then I heard “Echoes” and there I connected across time to the band and I was mentally floating the sheer joy of this lyrical poetry. The philosophical nature of this amazing piece held me enraptured and made me overwhelmingly ecstatic. It also made me use unnecessary ornamental language! Not just the lyrics, but the music too. My God, the music. Let’s not go into that part though.

Anyway, so much for my frenzied diatribe on the music. I was pretty much interested to put out my interpretation of the song. So yeah, here it  goes.

The albatross evokes a vivid image of ‘The rime of the ancient mariner’ by Coleridge. Probably, it was an allusion to that. This brings to my mind the depiction of a man who feels entrapped and chained in the rut of everyday living. He feels his life is miserable and dreary and the albatross is a constant reminder of the same.

This fellow, he also has this feeling of darkness surrounding him from all over and which has a strange way of looming up on him and his life wherever he goes. It is like a fortress around him, this darkness. And he is again jailed by the same.Over this fortress, every moment of his waking life, he sees green fields. And looking at those, a part of him is always tempted to somehow get out of his castle of darkness for he thinks life is great outside. It has been so long since he has been inside this fortress that a part of him wants to have no truck with “breaking the damn wall” , but there is a part of him that really wants to get out. And that part perseveres. That part “stirs” and “tries to climb towards the light”

Enter verse two and as fate would have it, this fellow has scaled over the fortress wall and is out. He feels that finally he has reached his Shangri-la, that finally he is out of his fortress and in a world where bliss reigns supreme.  With these thoughts he enters the ‘new world’. But soon he  realizes that bliss is a free bird. It detests company. He realizes that the people of the ‘new world’ are all trapped in their own island fortresses for he can see himself in any man who passes by. Seeing this evokes in him a feeling of a shared bond, of the brotherhood in misery, and the final realization that true paradise evades all.

The last verse, I feel refers to his invective against the now mythical happiness. He accuses it of soliciting him, all the while knowing that it is unattainable. He accuses it of taunting him, of being cheeky but never providing any comfort or reassurance of ever achieving it. But even after all this tirade,  in his heart of hearts, he knows that he still craves that paradise of joy, much like the addict’s next ‘hit’. So in a final act of desperation he ‘throws the window wide’ and calls to it ‘across the sky’

This song paints a dystopian vision of a man’s life which to a great extent is true. We mortals are in a way looking for that happiness outside. In my view, this song also alludes to our nature of seeking happiness from material possessions and points to the transitory nature of that happiness. It points out the basic fallacy in human nature which seeks pleasure from outside and keeps running behind things like fame and fortune. And after achieving all that, if ever, man finally realizes that things like that can never bring true bliss. And if the fortress walls ever have to stop being a prison, they have to be torn down and not scaled over.

Monday, 1 July 2013

HOME


Home is where the heart is. And this is where the problem begins. Your heart keeps wandering forever. From here to there and from him to her or it for that matter. Where does it finally rest? Je ne sais pas ! Could anyone possibly ever know where their heart is? And even if they do, does it ever stay at one place?  Extrapolating that, we never have a rooted home per se. We are all wanderers, nomads, gypsies, going from one place to another, searching for the final destination; our true home in life. Life is one rootless existence and you can take it as a positive and a negative aspect. Since one is never bound to one place, one does not carry or need to carry a "pre-baggage". One can start as a blank slate each day. Tabula rasa. Or if one likes stability, due to no firm anchor in life, he/she can feel lost. In this whirlwind of existence it is upto the person to decide what we wants to do. Swim with the current and find the way or get lost in the current and start wailing. The choice always rests with us.

I guess im getting a little too preachy these days. Philosophical musings. Hopefully i wont get stuck in the rut and the next few topics will be different!