THE
FRUSTRATIONS OF BEING A TECH-OBTUSE BEING
The crazily
slow internet connection drives you nuts. But more so, the fact that runs in
your head “ Sweety, you really can’t do anything about it” and before you
realise, you’re throwing things all over the place. Things, which include
cords, adapters, the internet dongle, pulled out hair and heated tantrums.
Hello ladies
and gentlemen. I take great pleasure in welcoming you to the world of a
tech-obtuse being. ( I must mention here that although, I personally prefer the
term tech-blonde, but do not use so to prevent hurting sensibilities) Here, Pentium
4 cannot be distinguished from Pentium 3 and nor does it really seem to make much
of a difference as long as it works for you.
There. We’re
done with the introduction. Let’s put it aside and begin with a typical day.
You have to
prepare a presentation for tomorrow. You open PowerPoint and midway through,
the screen gets stuck. You inhale, and you exhale. You inhale and you exhale
again. And then, instead of using the task manager, her highness prefers to go
all cave-woman. “Pull out the batteries, I say!”
Exhibit two.
You buy a new smart phone. And after fiddling with it for an eternity, trying
to painstakingly figure out as to what each thing does, by a stroke of luck you
realise that this instrument stores stuff on the internal memory! And then you
freak out! Yes! You freak out ! (Let me point out here that this mademoiselle here
has a hypersensitive limbic system) Any way, the independent woman that she
assumes herself to be, she tries to press the screen here and there and finally
calls for help. Dialling the class geek. Enter the tech geek. And with the
graceful sweep of his hand, downloads the file explorer app.” Angel of mercy, I
kneel before you in all submission.”
Exhibit
three. Hard disk crash. Code red emergency! Paging the specialist! “We need it to
survive”, she weeps ! “Let’s talk first aid”, he says. “ Do this and do that
and......” the rest of his words are drowned in the babble of an umpteen “ what”
s. And there it is, the hyperventilation, the palpitation and the sweat on the
brow. “ Can it survive, sir? That is all I need to know” “ Yes it can, if you
do this...” “ But where do you take the pulse?!” A sigh on the other end. “
Never mind. I shall come over.”...
And with
this, we come to the end of a brief peek into the world inhabited by an ancient
lady. She would like to add that there are days when tears stream down her face
due to the unfettered happiness that a brief moment like figuring out that
everything on the desktop is stored on the C drive provides. Listen carefully
and you may hear a sob!
